BREAKING: Bar on the Hill is moving to Ourimbah
Social outings for UON students in Newcastle are in grave danger thanks to the latest decision by the University. Yak Media confirms the construction of a new multi-story carpark for students on the Callaghan campus.
Earlier this morning at an all staff and student forum, Vice-Chancellor Professor Alex Zeilinskiy announced plans to extend the University of Newcastle’s Callaghan campus car park. The plan revealing a new multi-story parking space, which will hold upwards of 600 cars for students and staff alike, has been earmarked for construction on the site of the much-beloved Bar on the Hill on the university’s Hunter side. Construction is intended to commence in July 2022.
“This is a wonderful development for our University,” said the VC, “it shows our commitment to our student’s needs, and is evidence that we are continually facilitating their social culture.”
Students at Callaghan campus are outraged after hearing their much-beloved Bar on the Hill is being relocated to the University of Newcastle’s Ourimbah campus, in favour of additional car parks.
The University believes that the decision to found Bar on Ourimbah is in the best interest of the students, and insists the choice was made based on feedback from the latest student survey.
“We believe this to be a beneficial decision for all, the University received overwhelming feedback from students regarding the lack of parking at Callaghan, and we want the students to know that we have heard you”.
“Our Ourimbah students have been overlooked many times in the past, and BOO (Bar on Ourimbah) is the cultural injection our Central Coast Campus has needed for some time.”
This devastating blow for students has come around in a one-two punch, just days after the announcement of the infamous Cambridge Hotel in Newcastle’s CBD, set to be replaced by student accommodation in 2023.
However, it’s not just Callaghan students who are unhappy about the changes. Just one of the many criticisms the uni has faced comes from law, business, and creative industry students from the City campus, who have taken the move as a personal offense.
“How come they get an extension on their pre-existing car park when we have to share ours with working people in the CBD?” asked Bachelor of Law/Communication student, Luke Hargreaves, “Callaghan have always been prioritised over the city. What an actual cluster f#ck.”
“Yeah,” agreed Danielle Smith, Bachelor of Vis Com student, “I’m so sick of paying $5000 a year for parking when we could just be doing our classes online again.”
Despite the demolition of multiple Newcastle music venues, popular Australian rock band Spacey Jane has thrown their support behind the move to Ourimbah.
“Look, honestly Newcastle is just a bit too far for us. It’s not a short trek from Perth, and Ourimbah being closer to Sydney airport makes it easier to play more shows in the future✌️ ,” said Spacey Jane frontman Caleb Harper.
NOT ALL IS LOST!
The University of Newcastle has, however, granted students the opportunity to overturn the decision. They have created a signable online petition which you can find here, and stated that 2,000 signatures by UON Students would be enough for the committee to reconsider their decision.
Happy April Fools ya filthy animals!
Feature Image by Elliot Lazzarotto and Phoebe Metcalfe, Yak Designers.