How to have an authentic European summer at home

Madeline Link wants you to have #noregrets this mid-semester break.

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It’s the mid-semester break and inconsiderate Australians have inevitably begun flooding our news feeds with pictures of their adventures abroad.

For those of us considering a full-scale social media hiatus, think again. Here’s a few ways to live vicariously through your “friends” and enjoy that European summer that is continuously thrown in your face, at home.

Embrace your inner nonna/yaya/bomma/grand-mère

If there is one thing we students know how to do, it’s eat our feelings. So why not crack out some European delicacies or carb-loaded Italian pastas and bring the flavours of Europe to your table. Bon appetite!

Enjoy a well-behaved wine tasting

Europe is known for its wide array of hearty reds, delicate whites and radical free-pouring. So, why not pop on your favourite European tunes (ABBA), get plastered and hold your girlfriends hair while she regurgitates the elaborate European feast you made for dinner. At least you’re getting an ‘authentic’ experience.

Learn a new language

There are 23 officially recognised languages within the European Union, but forget the boring things like “Hello, how are you?” and “That’s a nice poodle!” Learn the phrases you would have been using on the dream European getaway your friends are enjoying without you, such as “Which way to the bar?” (“Quel chemin à la barre?”), or “How did I get in this gondola? And where are all my friends?” (“Come ho ricevuto in questo gondola? Dove sono tutti i miei amici?”).

Explore our multicultural society

You deserve that exotic hook-up, don’t let distance stop you. Australia is known for its multicultural landscape. Head to Kingas or an equally diverse establishment and find that Italian stallion of your dreams, ladies.

Unleash your inner tourist

Forget that it’s the middle of winter. If top model contestants can do it, so can you. Dive into your local pool and buy one of those straws with the umbrella on it to place in a cocktail strategically by the water. Don’t forget to work your best angles and smile through the pain; the like-rep is worth it. Jazz up your Instagram pic with Euro-centric hashtags such as ‘#noregrets’ or ‘#eurotrash’ to reinforce to all your followers that you are most definitely having a better time than they are.

Check-in to foreign locations

Nothing says “I’m enjoying Europe from my living room” quite like checking-in on Facebook to all the exotic locations you would have visited. Tag the friends you would have taken with you in a show of solidarity. That’s why they created the internet, right?

Image: nat urazmetova, Flickr, no changes made.