Georgia Mueck tells it exactly how it is when it comes to University fashion.
WARNING: May contain traces of extreme satire.
Yep, we are well into that time of year again where you have to wake up and do things. I know, it’s the WORST. But as most of us are yet to discover how to transcend these mortal coils and exist as pure sentient energy, it’s time to grab those Opal Cards and attend those heinous 9am lectures. However, one does not simply walk into Uni without considering what to wrap one’s flesh sack in, so here are a few hot tips for anyone worrying about what to wear to Uni this year.
As public nudity is still a social taboo, I’m afraid I’m going to have to recommend wearing clothes to Uni. Is this a super inconvenient law that is ill-suited when considering our Australian climate? Yes. Wouldn’t it be much nicer to have a cool breeze around those sweaty privates during those scorching summer days? Absolutely! Well, that’s too bad, now go put some pants on and quit complaining!
2. To brand or not to brand
Who doesn’t love a bit of corporate advertising splashed across their chest, pants, shoes, hat, bag, underwear, and sunglasses. I’m all for brands, love a good brand, but you know what else I’m all for; not wearing brands. In fact, I’m also all for wearing both. If you wanna spruce up that Tommy Hilfiger polo with a delicious Kmart knit jumper, you better believe I’m gonna be all over that. So you wear those brands, fam, or don’t wear them. Either way is good.
3. Basics are life
When you think about it, we’re all just slightly advanced monkeys stuck to this giant rock as it chases a colossal ball of burning gas that’s hurtling through the infinite vacuum of space towards an unforeseeable end. For this reason, choose an outfit that says “cool and casual” so as to hide the existential terror you feel over the inevitable decimation of all existence as we know it.
4. Edible underwear
It’s a no from me.
5. The unspoken Pyjama Rule
Look, we’ve all done it, and anyone who says they haven’t is lying. Pyjamas are comfy af, and if I’m gonna be getting myself in crippling debt just to have a slightly better shot than I may have had at getting the job I want, then I wanna be next level comfy. Anyone who tells you that you can’t wear pjs to Uni is a non-believer and they must be shunned. Shun the non-believers!
6. TFW no one actually gives a bother
The key thing to remember is that your wellbeing and comfortability are paramount, so dress however the heck you like. Chances are no one is going to mind how you look, and if they do then they ain’t worth another minute of your time. If you want to look like you’ve worn the same thing for the last 87 years, well power to you. And if you wanna show up to class like you’ve got a lecture at 5pm and the Oscars at 6pm, then, as a wise man once said, JUST DO IT!
Image: Flickr, BizWeekDesign, no changes made.