Tired of walking into gross toilets? Angelique Carr reviews the best, and worst, bathrooms on campus so you don’t  have to.

No matter what age you are, bladder and bowel health are part of the foundation of general health, according to the National Continence Program. Even the UN has recognised the importance of bathroom sanitation and safety, declaring November 19 as ‘World Toilet Day’. We use them every day and I’m sure plenty of students have their favourite on-campus bathrooms.

So, my question is, why is there no Yelp for toilets? Luckily for you, I, a pioneer of the soon-to-be-trend of bathroom reviews, have researched noteworthy bathrooms right here on campus so you don’t have to*:

*Due to (obvious) limitations, I could only review female toilets. Sorry guys.

The Worst:

Maths Building V Female Toilets

Let’s not beat around the bush. This is the worst toilet I have come across. As you descend the steps you wonder why an exact replica of the alleyway Bruce Wayne’s parents were mugged in is at UON, but then, as the humidity rises, you realise it’s actually the first ring of hell. The one where mosquitos feed off your very life blood. The floors are always wet and there are soggy bits of paper everywhere. This is a no go zone.

The Blast from the Past:

Behavioural Sciences W240

Not only is this bathroom clean and relatively private, it also boasts an ancient artefact. Stuck to the wall in the first stall is a furnace once used for disposing pads. While no longer functioning, it raises the question of whether or not we should still be using them to help reduce landfill. Check this one out to see how things were back in your grandma’s day.

The Serial Killer Dungeon:

Hunter Building HE15

This bathroom is hidden away in some corner of the Hunter Building. When you first enter you find yourself in a strange, tiled room. There is a dark hole in the roof from which no light can escape. The only things in this room are a laundry tub and the feeling that Dexter is deciding what to do with you. Ladies, avoid this bathroom. Boys, I’ve heard the men’s bathroom across the hallway has only one stall and no urinals, making it the perfect place to take a private #2.

The Safest:

NUSA Building (Hunter Side)

In my research (i.e. walking into random buildings all day asking for the bathroom), I found that the bathrooms in the NUSA building are by far the safest. They are cleaned once a day, have syringe bins, boast reusable towels that comes out of NUSA’s own budget, and there is a gender neutral option. Also in the building is the Women’s Room (which has free pads and tampons!) and the Queer Space. These are safe spaces for the two groups for whom public bathrooms are the most dangerous. The only drawback is that it closes at five with the rest of the building.

Best Shower:

Bike Hub East

The Hunter Bike Hub has by far the best shower facilities. The completely private, lockable stalls are clean, but I would still wear thongs to be on the safe side. Plus, there are free lockers that don’t require a key. Just punch in a pin and it’s yours for the day. However, the Hub isn’t open to the public; you do need your student ID to open the door.

All images by Angelique Carr.