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Adulting 101

School is supposed to teach you the building blocks of life, right? Wrong… Claire Ince lists all the things school didn’t teach us.  

Whilst procrastinating on Instagram one evening, I stumbled upon a tweet, and had quite a chuckle.

Even though it is of a light-hearted nature, it does raise a very important point.

As much as school provides us with information crucial to our intellectual and social development, we are never really taught about some arguably crucial things.

On the off chance that the Department of Education is looking to spruce up the national curriculum, I decided to save them some time and compile a list of things that they should strongly consider adding.

1. How to use fancy landline phones

What is this?

Where is the touch screen?

Why does it have more than two buttons?

Which button am I supposed to press?

What am I supposed to say or do when I pick up this contraption?

2. What dress codes are actually referring to

I don’t think a number exists for the amount of times I’ve frantically googled “smart casual”, “business casual”, “smart”, and “semi-formal” just to be sure that I am not about to make a gargantuan mistake.

3. How car registration and insurance work

I remember being told that “cars are expensive” on multiple occasions throughout my school years, but I got a real shock when I found out that registering a car takes more than a $300 fee. -_-.

4. You actually are responsible for everything

So, you really mean to tell me that this gigantic pile of laundry won’t be neatly folded in my drawers when I get home from work? I demand a refund.

5. How to schedule an appointment

The day that my mother made me book my own dental appointment for the first time, was the day that I developed crows feet and sprouted my first grey hair (not really, but I may as well have).

6. How to communicate with medical professionals

Going to see your GP, optometrist or dentist is a relatively easy process as a child- you simply show up, say “ah”, then go home with a balloon or a lollipop.

As an adult, you get to explain all of your symptoms yourself (and simultaneously convince yourself that your common cold is some kind of incurable disease), and instead of confectionary, you get to bid your money goodbye.

7. How much things cost, and how hard it is to cover those costs

Older generations seem to absolutely LOVE slamming millennials for ‘managing money poorly’ or ‘not working hard enough’ when they can’t make ends meet.

But my question for you, Karen, is if there is some magical, super duper easy way to make sure your bills are paid and save for a house deposit in a year without having to work 3 jobs and say goodbye to any kind of work-life balance, why don’t you tell me all about it.

8. Adults aren’t actually that grown up

Back in the day, I assumed that when you became an adult, you suddenly snapped out of all kinds of childish interests and behaviours, and suddenly, your life just got itself ‘together’.

In reality, I still want to cry to my parents when I graze my knee, and some grown adults still choose to bully their peers.

9. How to get 30 years of work experience by the age of 20

Gaining hands-on experience in your area of interest is quite honestly the most difficult part of adulthood- because now, the people who want to give you experience, also want you to magically already have it.

And don’t even get me started on the “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” debacle.

10. How to deal with the pressure of adulthood

As an adult, you are suddenly expected to have everything together all of the time, and should you not, you must suppress it so far down that nobody will ever see it, until one day, a crack forms, your worries ooze out like lava, and rather than trying to help, people run far away to avoid getting burned.

But eventually, you will figure out that we’re really all one and the same. We all go through trials and tribulations, and we all struggle with them. As much as we all feel unprepared for the journeys ahead of us, the important thing to remember is that we are never alone.

Feature image: Element5 Digital via Unsplash, no changes made.

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